Only In Dreams

After having been on Lexapro (an SSRI) for nearly 5 years,* I recently had to switch to a new antidepressant/antianxiety medication (which is a long story involving overpriced name-brand pharmaceuticals and a certain insurance provider that shall hereafter be referred to as the Evil Empire). It took a few months and some trial and error (not to mention an array of harrowing side effects), but my psychiatrist (who is absolutely amazing--thank god for Whitman-Walker Clinic) and I finally found a drug that seems to work for me (Effexor, an SSNRI).

When I first started taking the Effexor, I was prepared to experience some side effects--you know, the usual suspects: nausea, diarrhea, sleep disturbances, etc.--that would subside after a few weeks. What I did not expect was a series of increasingly vivid sex dreams. I used to have such dreams on occasion, but they were few and far between, and my memory of them was usually pretty vague. In comparison, these most recent reveries have been like high-def pornos. I'm not exactly complaining (it's not like I'm getting any action in my waking hours), but it is a little weird. For one, quite a few of the folks who have landed starring roles in my subconscious's pornographic productions have been friends or acquaintances with whom I'd never really considered the prospect of sex. Needless to say, having a very graphic sex dream about someone can make interacting with them on a regular basis fairly awkward... visions of compromising positions dance uncontrollably in my head.

A second interesting twist in this already twisted tale is that a sizable number of my dream couplings have been with men. It's no secret that I favor the ladies. In fact, outside of my overly active subconscious, I've never actually slept with a guy. So it's been quite suprising to me that I've been getting it on so enthusiastically with these dream dudes. What gives? Is my subconscious trying to tell me something? Have my hormones gone wild and induced these dreams of breeding? Or, gender aside, do I really just need to get laid?



*I'm a major proponent of being open and unashamed about mental health issues. Far too many people see mood disorders and the like as personal shortcomings and/or believe that discussing them is socially taboo; I am not one of those people. Also, although I am disturbed by medical professionals' increasing tendency to pass out antidepressants like they're candy, I do firmly believe (and am living proof) that these drugs are beneficial, even necessary, for some people.