Does anyone else think the word "papal" sounds kind of dirty?

Anyone who lives within at least a 20-mile radius of DC (and who is not in some sort of catatonic state) knows that the Pope is visiting this week. News of His Kinda-Creepy-Looking Oldness's pending arrival has spewed forth from every major media outlet, taking precedence over actual important things (like this and this). Metro has warned us to expect delays (which--I shudder at the thought--will likely be even worse than those experienced on my commute yesterday morning, during which I stood idly by at Gallery Place while two inexplicably overcrowded Red Line trains came and went). DC's finest are out en force (I wish that more of them were on Segways, if for no other reason than to amuse me). And yesterday afternoon on the Metro, I sat next to a man who was holding an enormous statue of the Virgin Mary on his lap (I can only assume that he was taking it to get blessed or something).

I'm not one to mock the religious beliefs of others (okay, I have been known to mock occasionally, but I try to be respectful); I simply don't understand why everyone is creaming themselves over the Pope. He's just a man. Granted, he is a man with fabulous shoes; a funny-looking car; and control of one of the richest, whitest (in terms of its history and leadership, anyway), malest (again, in terms of leadership; and yes, "malest" is now a word) churches in the world; but he is, nevertheless, just a man.

As you can probably tell, I wasn't raised Catholic (although I have many close friends who are quite devout), so there's a lot about the religion that I just don't "get," no matter how eloquently (and repeatedly) it is explained to me. I have a meager intellectual grasp of such things, but a real sense of understanding is beyond me. Perhaps it is true that faith can be explained ad nauseum but can really only be understood when it is experienced personally.

In any case, I plan to spend the remaining days of the Pope's visit lying low in my liberal, queer, feminist, agnostic lair (a.k.a., "English basement") with my cats, swilling beer and avoiding public transit. Perhaps I should start my own religion...